Let you Be, Allow you to Be.

One day I was attending a wedding… Ok, let me tell you about me and weddings for a little bit. I grew up in a rural area, a village as some would call it, famously known in the Eastern Cape as “ez’lalini” or “ez’nkeva”… growing up I attended a few weddings, I guess my people are fond of ‘Vat n Sit’ or it might just be economic challenges.

So when I went to a wedding, keep in mind I was a kid, we would play around the tent until some lady called us to stand in a line and give us food. You typical samp & beans, cabbage and gravy. If you got a potato, you were one lucky sanafabish and you better pray the bullies don’t find out. Now the dilemma with a potato is that you can’t just quickly down it, it will choke you and you can’t savour it, you’ll get your behind kicked then lose your potato. See, it’s tough being a kid, choices, choices, choices…

So I grew a bit older and the next weddings I attended I would sit inside tent. This was still in rural area so the same shit applied, after the wedding ceremony ushers would bring you the food you while you were sitting down. Now the plates were upgraded a bit, now there were some salads and you could savour your food… See, life is about levels mchana…

I grew up a bit again and I was still rolling on the wedding attendance, but now things had changed a bit, my circles have grown a bit and now I know people in urban areas or famously know in Mzantsi as “ekasi”. This means the weddings got fancier, they were no longer in tends but halls which you, the food was not dished up somewhere and brought to you, there were buffet tables with open bars. See, as one grows, one has to learn new skills, at the first wedding I was invited at I didn’t have a place to sit and I had to go back home, all because I didn’t RSVP and I wasn’t allocated a table. The ushers didn’t let me in even after I told them the sweet story of how I met the groom. So one must always equip themselves with new knowledge and skill every year. I had to learn “fork n knife”, long walk but it’s mastered. See, again, life is about levels mchana…

Ok, back to how I opened this piece… One day I was attending a wedding…

The wedding was ez’lalini meets kasi type(a) wedding. An example was the food, the buffet tables were there but monitored because there were some people dishing for you, you got what you wanted but they controlled the portion size. So I took a plate and got in line, there was a chatty person behind me so I was talking to her while taking one step at a type along with the line. While we were talking, I was so immersed in the conversation so much I didn’t notice it was my turn on the buffet. While I was distracted, the dishing lady heard my rough Xhonglish and assumed I was going to ask for samp and beans so she gave me a good portion.

I felt the weight on my plate and I turned around and shouted WTF!!! Who said I wanted samp & beans??? I was so dramatic and shouted so loud that her supervisor walked over and aske “what’s going on?”. I narrated the short story to her and she calmly replied in one sentence:

“Sir, please empty you plate and she will dish you the food of your choice, standing here being dramatic about will not get you forward”

I was so pissed off that she was right. After that sentence I thought of a Chinese saying by Confucius:

“…A bowl is more useful when it is empty…”

 DAMN…

Never mind my wedding experiences, but don’t we do what I did on that last wedding all the time. Meaning we invest more energy in addressing the problem instead investing the energy in the solution??? Say it with me, YES WE DO. And that is actually a bad habit.

Today I am going to pray, and my main prayer item is that we invest energy in finding the solutions and futures of our lives…

 Amen…

One last thing:

“…Always be prepared to lose who you are to make way to who you must become…”

I’ll explain this in depth one day, but for now leave with this, let’s take the last wedding I attended as an example, if I still had that samp & beans on my plate, there wasn’t going to be space for rice, hence the supervisor suggested I empty my plate.

Now let’s take a look at it in terms of time, let’s say you have 6 hours between after work/school and your bed time, now what you do in those two hours is WHO YOU ARE. You are a TV watcher, that’s what you do, you watch TV. That is not a bad thing, if you are happy with it and it’s what you want to do, it’s perfectly fine. But then there are some people who want to be MORE but they are not giving up who they are to make way for who they want to become. If you want to learn how to play the guitar, it might be wise trading some of that TV time with guitar lessons. All in the spirit of giving up who you are in order to make way for who you must become.

“…our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, it’s that we are powerful beyond measure…”

...I don't know why i added that 'deepest fear' part, but i just wanted to through it in there..

     #Peace

#Mzukhology