Mzukhology

Many many years ago, in a land far far away, the first man ever to say “holy shit” lived happily with his wife in the Garden of Eden. Life was perfect in Eden, free food, free strip shows, you name it. Until one day a serpent stirred shit and threw it straight towards a spinning fan, you can imagine the results. Long story short, a very beautiful garden was ruined. Then, yesterday, in a land nearby, I met a man whose name shall not be uttered, not because of a confidentiality clause, but because I myself do not know his name. The man was carrying around with him a very heavy heart, a heart so heavy not even his face could hide it. I could tell by the colour of his eyes that his life bear the sour fruit known as lemons. I sat next to him and said “I reckon you can’t find the sugar for the lemonade”, he turned around, and with a confused faces replied “huh?”. I asked him “what’s wrong brother?”. He told me that the love of his life was not picking up his calls, nor replying to...

I have heard ladies say this line too many times, some even go on to say “ALL men are dogs”, and society replies with “Who said try all of them my sister”, lol, jah society is rough… I am going to give myself a Doctorate and rephrase the “man are dogs line”, y’all can call me Dr M Hlazo… MAN with these: Are DOGS… Now those are your dogs, tail, walks on four legs, bark, sniffs ass, all the works… BUT… Ladies, let me let you in on a lil secret y’all probably didn’t know about, men don’t love beautiful expensive cars, NO, that shit strains your budget. Men love beautiful expensive cars because YOU love them and we men love you ladies, with all your curves, beautiful smiles, dark chocolate skins and the list goes on. So at a National Get-Laid Conference held somewhere in the world in 2000(and something), Prof Jan Fuckfontein De Walt, presented a synopsis of his study to the gentlemen of the world, he said: “Men love women, women love cars” Man + Woman = W...