Dear 16 Year Old

Hi, you are probably at your prime now. Catching some feelings and starting to wonder how that guy or girl looks at you? Before you go crazy I would like you to know these 16 things:

            1. Dream big.

-          Do not limit what you can achieve based on your circumstances. Imagine the places you want to go to and the things you want to achieve. There is truly no limit.  The worst you can do is put yourself in a box. The mind is a powerful tool and it believes what you tell it.  Next time tell it about the company you will own one day.

2. Believe in yourself.

-          Believe you will pass that Maths test that’s giving you nightmares. Whatever it is that you are faced with now, you shall overcome. The best trait one can learn in this life is how to be their very own motivator. Be your own supporter, be able to lean on your own but do not brush people who are your cheerleaders.

3. Believe in something greater than you.

-          As important as it is to believe in yourself, there must be something greater than what you believe in. This may be God, ancestors, nature, higher power, etc. You better believe in something. This could also be your purpose or your dreams.

4. Some of the people who are your friends now, will stop being your friends when you leave high school.

-          Let’s face the music, not everyone who is in your circle of friends is meant to be in it for the rest of your life. People are sometimes in our lives for a specific seasons. Accept it and move on.

5. Love yourself

-          Love every inch of who you are. Love your body, love where you come from, love your family, love that annoying uncle or cousin etc. Do not compare yourself to anyone else. You do not know their story or what they go through on a daily basis. Love your struggles. They will shape you into a better human being.

6. Learn to share

-          You know as kids, we have to learn to share our toys with friends or siblings. This world is not your own space. As you grow up, you might have to share a room at university or at your first apartment when you work. Be able to live with other people and respect them. Build up people skills, communicate with others and listen to their stories. Umntu Ngumntu Ngabantu

7. Argue with people

-          Yes, you read right. Do not be a ‘YES’ person, test your arguing skills. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This will instil confidence within you and ensure you are able to stand up for what you believe in. Your voice will be heard and people will value your opinions. As a warning, do not fall into the trap of arguing for the sake of arguing.

8. Read books

-          You can start out by reading all those nonsense romance novels just to get the habit going. After some time make sure you burn all those romance novels, they won’t do justice to your knowledge. Get into the habit of reading entrepreneurial books, self-help, auto biographies, etc. Whatever book you read must add value to your life.

9. Watch the news

-          I know it’s boring, but believe me you want to stay in touch with what is happening around your community and the world. You are also building a long term habit within yourself that will go a long way when you are older.

10. It is okay not to be popular

-          Forget about fitting in or following the latest trends, uploading million pictures on Instagram or being part of that high school clique of cool kids. DO YOU! Do not conform to what society expects of you. At the end of the day it’s your life, you have to account for the decisions you make.

11. The boys or girls can wait.

-          You are not lame just because you have chosen not to date at school. There is plenty of time for that. You have your books to worry about and the future ahead of you. That should occupy your mind not some boy or girl who did not respond to your text or is not answering your calls or not reading the signals you are sending him or her. Not that dating is a taboo thing. At 16 you really are not emotionally ready to have a full committed relationship. Friend-zone those people.

12. Get into the habit of goal writing

-          Put those goals on paper. As much as you know the things you want to achieve, write them down.

“A dream written down with a date becomes a goal.

A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed up by action makes your dreams come true” Greg S. Reid.

           13. You're beautiful, intelligent, capable, gifted, important and matter to those around you.

-          Get into the habit of telling yourself these words every day.

14. Have fun

-          You are sixteen not 50. Meet up with friends at the mall, go watch movies, have lunch with them, have that funky hairstyle during holidays etc. The important part is finding a balance between what you want to achieve and fun. Create memories.

15. Get a holiday job

-          Apply to be a waitress at Wimpy or be a teller or packer at Spar or PnP. It’s not about how bad your job is but rather the skills you will learn. Get a glimpse of what the workplace is like. Save up for that shoe you want instead of asking mommy and daddy. Sometimes being exposed to these jobs will push you to want more and better for yourself, to rise above your circumstances.

16. You do not have to have answers to everything.

-          It is okay not to know what the future holds but it is not okay to not have the slightest plan. Failing to plan is planning to fail.  Enjoy each day as it comes and do not put unnecessary pressure on yourself but do know there is a lot out there waiting for you.

As a bonus and departing comment, surround yourself with people who add value in your life. Have a role model or mentor. It goes a long way having someone who sees potential in you. It may be your parent or your teacher.

Some of these things will only make sense when you are older and wiser. That is OKAY (Refer to point 16).

That’s all folks. Apologies for being serious but I had to put out there what lies ahead of you.

- Ms S Ndaleni