Valentine's Day Stories
What is love???
This is what Wikipedia had to say about it:
"Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection" [Ref.]
(WARNING: The following content is disturbing and not
for the faint hearted)
Below are a few Valentine’s
Day stories, find yours or comment with yours, we would love to know it…
The Vultures!!!
Nigga!!! My Nigga… Don’t
fuck up,
Don’t neglect your
wife,
Because am there, in
the background waiting,
Waiting for you to
fuck up.
Then finally when you
do,
I’ll console and fuck your wife,
Telling her all your
wrongs and why am Mr right.
It’s like doing a bed
time story about Pros and Cons,
Am Superman, you’re
King Kong.
You may climb high
with your wife, but my nigga you’ll fall,
You don’t have
kryptonite on me, so am the Boss, “huh”.
Now and then you’ll
ask yourself shit like:
“Is it bird or is it
a plane?”
“Is she with her
friends or another Man?”
“Is she still mine or
ours?”
OK, wait wait wait…
Nigga did you just
say “another Man”???
WTF!!!
Hope not, coz compared to me you’re Boy son.
Anyway…
Those are questions
you’ll ask yourself while you at work,
Workin your ass off
to get the bread,
Meanwhile on the
other side of town,
I’ll be rocking your
wife world,
My nigga I’ll do this
shit on and in your own bed.
You come all happy and
excited,
At night you’ll be
like “Baby can I please have ikhekhe”
But then she’ll
complain about her achin back.
Meaning, [Nigga you
ain’t getting some”]
Out of disappointment
you will give yourself a Wanky,
And sleep in the same sheets I was in, like a
baby.
Sorry man, she didn’t
want to change them,
Because just my scent
give her a mini-orgasm.
Sorry man, my bad… I
didn’t mean to give it to her good.
My nigga why did you
fuck up???
Now every time you
ask s*x she won’t be in the mood.
I asked if I will see
her again, she was like “definitely”.
Am sorry Dog didn’t
mean to, but now this is a Catastrophe.
Breach of Contract…
This Bitch!!!
She has forgotten
that I have MY ONE AND ONLY 560,
My babe doesn't know
am this Bitchy.
We had a contract,
No strings attached.
Now her “feelings are
hurt”???
I thought we were in
this just for the good sex.
“Why didn’t you
answer you phone” was the first sign,
“Bitch I was with my
wife” was my answer,
“Oh, Ok ke” was her
reply as she looked away,
And I didn’t get the
cookie for that day.
Now she’s threating to
tell my girl about it,
Eish, what the F did I
just get myself in,
Shit this will break
my baby’s heart,
She gave me all her
trust,
But still I chose to
follow my Lust.
Now because of your
clingy unsatisfied wife,
I might lose some
real love of my Life.
Why the fuck can’t I
just get enough?
Shit, this time I fucked
up…
Now some innocent
girl is going to think the whole world is rough.
She’ll lose faith in
all Men,
She’ll stop giving a
damn,
And open her legs
every chance she gets.
She’ll think she’s
being a Player,
While she’s
destroying her own WORTH.
Small Problems…
I am a 2 minute man,
“Oh shit that is bad”.
I heard that crap
from my friends,
But why tha f*ck don’t
I just ask my girl,
If she’s ok with it
or should I go to ‘Men’s Clinic’ and Extend.
I also have a small
D*,
But I was told “Dynamite
comes in small packages”.
I really really
REALLY hope that’s true,
Otherwise sexually
I’ll be screwed.
The Dilemma
The Boy
I am an ugly nigga,
so I’ve heard, from a lot of people even my own Dad,
I am so ugly I make a
person who was just burnt in the face feel good about themselves.
Every hot girl I get,
i think she’s just a cheater.
I look her deep in
her eyes, as she says she loves me.
The guys have already
corrupted my mind,
“She’s after something, She’s after something, She’s after something”
I ask myself if “is
she here for the money”?
Out of all these
thoughts,
Why can’t I think she
just wants to love me?
Well, I hope she
loves me.
The Girl:
“All men are after
just want one thing”
I wish I didn’t
believe this about just this one nigga.
But then I am this
way because of the one who hurt me,
I curse his name
because back then I was still a Virgin.
I was soo young,
innocent and didn’t know anything,
That bastard hid his
tail so I didn’t know he was the Devil.
Even though I enjoyed
the chocolates, Airtime and being at the Front seat,
Now am just the
lil-girl who lost her virginity at the back of a Taxi.
Why can’t I just
believe that this one is Different??
I initially said it,
it’s because of my bad references.
Cant love freely
All the way up in
Heaven God knows I love this girl,
Wish I could give her
everything she wants in this world.
Baby my only Flaw is
that I am Poor,
Am not pretty as you,
and also not in the same league that you’re in.
To make up for the
deficiency I tried to be funny,
So that in a way I could
create our own land of Milk and Honey.
Just like a wealthy
man who’s in a coma,
I know it’s coming,
but am just prolonging my death,
Prolonging the death
of our relationship.
Filled with hope am
going to exclamate I Love You with a comma,
“I Love you,”
As a symbol I want
our love to continue,
When am with the guys
I act as if I don’t care,
When they tell me “ntwana
uyatyelwa”,
I tell them “there’s
a lot of fish in the see, akho stress”,
But inside secretly
wishing you’ll be with me till the End.
I wanna make love in this club!!!
You have a Huge D*,
I have a Platinum
Card.
Who would get the
most chicks???
Nigga lets go test
our theories at the club.
And we will see who will come back singing:
"Yee ng'cishe ngafa, Yee abantu abangaka, Yee iDisco Lights, Yee ngokhe ng'bone"
So ladies who wins
between these two gentlemen???
My Valentine’s Day Message
When Chris said
“these hoes ain’t Loyal”
Am pretty sure that
nigga was not talking about my Queen.
But wena what did you
expect from a “hoe”?
Did you leave your jacket
expecting it won’t be cold??
Won’t be cold when
you go out in the Snow?
Maybe you thought
everyone deserves a second draw,
And forgot that some
cheaters would never change their spots.
Am kidding, I do promoting forgiveness and giving each other second chances…
“hahahahahahahahahahahaha”
Well this is what I
hear when that beat drops,
“My Pushy is Royal”
So she deserves to be
treat like the Queen she is,
Then now why should I
go by Bitches Drinks?
While I could get my
Puu a Diamond ring.
Some of you need
Yoga, and some need a shower,
Sit back and watch as
I sprinkle my Queen with some Love Powder.
Sometimes people
think I ate iVamna,
Nope, it’s just the
Pushy-effect Brother.
And Weezy was right, “you
can do anything but trust these hoes”,
But ke ungalibali
ukuba ay ’ngo Pushy lowo.
Check out the Link Below:
#Word:
In one of the “Pirate of the Caribbean” movie, Captain Jack
Sparrow gave a lesson on how to trust… He said he is dishonest and you can
trust that he will stab your back, he went on to add that it’s the “honest”
ones you shouldn't trust, because you don’t know when they will drop the act
and tear your heart apart, spit and step on it… *ashikixe unyawo* (this doesn't
include those who are truly and honestly being honest, big up to them). And
someone said love them all but trust no one.
What is this “TRUST”??? Well here is what I think… Hey I do
not know mna… you find out…
But... If you were ever hurt by love, askies vha!!! ngxesi nana... but a great man once said:
"You cant blame gravity for falling in love"
-Albert Einstein
"Njee just for Kontrol"
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